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Funny Christmas Tshirts Biography
The year is leaving us, my friends. The end is in sight as the months barrel past in a blur. The weather changes, you dress up for Halloween, and before you know it...someone is smiling broadly and saying something ridiculous like "Tis The Season!"
Tis the season? Never has a term that was intended to inspire joy and holiday cheer had such a reverse affect! Just the idea of shopping and spending too much money while I'm drunk on eggnog gives me a phantom hangover of regret. It doesn't matter that I do it every year. I'm not about to start learning from my mistakes now. I've made it through this alive and without any major scars so far, so why try to be smart now?
The few lessons I have learned through the years have been pretty important ones, though. For instance, I know through many past instances that it's a good idea to have my sponsor's number from Alcoholics Anonymous handy during the Holiday season. I've also learned that shopping amongst the teeming hoard of germ-breeders is for people who enjoy throwing up and coughing for a solid month straight. I do about 90% of my Christmas shopping on the Web now, and much of that is for Christmas t-shirts to satiate the insane cat-lady brood that I'm related to.
Do you know what else is terrible? Women! Okay, not women exactly, but shopping for women is a veritable hell on earth. If it weren't for Christmas t-shirts, I probably would have run away and joined the circus by now. I hear they don't celebrate Christmas at the circus. I don't even think about what I'm buying the ladies in my family anymore. I just get on the Web and buy any t-shirt I can find with some reindeer, snowmen, Santas, or whatever on it. The chicks in my family go crazy for that stuff. Christmas t-shirts are like heroin for women in their 30's.
All jokes aside, it's a pretty darn good plan that takes much of the stress out of my Holiday trials. I get on the Internet with a goal in my head sometime around August, and I stick with it until I get all of the ladies in my extended family all kinds of cutesy Christmas t-shirts to wear. By the time Halloween rolls around, all of those women are taken care of and I don't have to waste another thought (or dollar) on any of them.
Take it from a certified Christmas genius: you just can't go wrong with the perfect combination of Christmas t-shirts and women with dogs, kids, cats, or all three. If people followed my advice, there would be about 1,000 fewer fatal stabbings during the Holiday season.
Funny Christmas Tshirts Biography
The year is leaving us, my friends. The end is in sight as the months barrel past in a blur. The weather changes, you dress up for Halloween, and before you know it...someone is smiling broadly and saying something ridiculous like "Tis The Season!"
Tis the season? Never has a term that was intended to inspire joy and holiday cheer had such a reverse affect! Just the idea of shopping and spending too much money while I'm drunk on eggnog gives me a phantom hangover of regret. It doesn't matter that I do it every year. I'm not about to start learning from my mistakes now. I've made it through this alive and without any major scars so far, so why try to be smart now?
The few lessons I have learned through the years have been pretty important ones, though. For instance, I know through many past instances that it's a good idea to have my sponsor's number from Alcoholics Anonymous handy during the Holiday season. I've also learned that shopping amongst the teeming hoard of germ-breeders is for people who enjoy throwing up and coughing for a solid month straight. I do about 90% of my Christmas shopping on the Web now, and much of that is for Christmas t-shirts to satiate the insane cat-lady brood that I'm related to.
Do you know what else is terrible? Women! Okay, not women exactly, but shopping for women is a veritable hell on earth. If it weren't for Christmas t-shirts, I probably would have run away and joined the circus by now. I hear they don't celebrate Christmas at the circus. I don't even think about what I'm buying the ladies in my family anymore. I just get on the Web and buy any t-shirt I can find with some reindeer, snowmen, Santas, or whatever on it. The chicks in my family go crazy for that stuff. Christmas t-shirts are like heroin for women in their 30's.
All jokes aside, it's a pretty darn good plan that takes much of the stress out of my Holiday trials. I get on the Internet with a goal in my head sometime around August, and I stick with it until I get all of the ladies in my extended family all kinds of cutesy Christmas t-shirts to wear. By the time Halloween rolls around, all of those women are taken care of and I don't have to waste another thought (or dollar) on any of them.
Take it from a certified Christmas genius: you just can't go wrong with the perfect combination of Christmas t-shirts and women with dogs, kids, cats, or all three. If people followed my advice, there would be about 1,000 fewer fatal stabbings during the Holiday season.
Funny Christmas Tshirts
Funny Christmas Tshirts
Funny Christmas Tshirts
Funny Christmas Tshirts
Funny Christmas Tshirts
Funny Christmas Tshirts
Funny Christmas Tshirts
Funny Christmas Tshirts
Funny Christmas Tshirts
Funny Christmas Tshirts
Funny Christmas Tshirts
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